"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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