Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
