There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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