oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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