her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
