Only a mothe r could love this liver
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
