I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
