somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
