My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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