So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
