Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize