What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
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Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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