do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
