She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
