have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
