he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Bring me that man meat
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
