YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
