Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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