Sry I called you an 8
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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