I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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