Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
