Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
