that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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