Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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