Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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