Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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