he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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