if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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