you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
