Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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