I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
