I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
