While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
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LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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