Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i believe in u and ur pee
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
