girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
