I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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