My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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