she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
