it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
