I haven't been this sober since birth.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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