why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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