wanna go halves on a baby?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we're so committed to being not committed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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