i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Randomize
