there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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