Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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