Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
