Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
