Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
