Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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