youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
