she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
