how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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