I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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