Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize