omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
