I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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