did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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