She said her name was "party"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
