Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
