dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
