can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
