Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize