I skipped work to stalk him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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